Why I Hollaback – Laura’s Story

Three years ago my fiancé Chris and I decided to embark on the simultaneously most rewarding and maddening journey one could ever take. We decided to become parents. After months of research and me whining every night, we became the proud doggy parents of the cutest black mystery mutt named Bailey. A year after that we decided since we both LOVED getting up 3 times in the middle of the night in the dead of winter to take one dog out, we would adopt a second puppy and do the same thing all over again…thus came our second dog, the most adorable little dachshund named Pika.

Not to brag, but I have to tell you, I am a kick ass dog mom. I spend more money on their food than I do on mine. I am about to pay 500 dollars to get their teeth cleaned (while totally forgoing whitening mine for my own wedding!) I buy them expensive toys from Planet Dog like a good Portland dog owner, and I pay 10 dollars each Saturday so they can play in an indoor dog park during the winter. And the kicker– I take them for long walks (yes, even in the winter, even though I slip on salt and sand!)

About a year ago I was forced to change the route of my daily dog walks.  A group of men used to hang outside on their porch and as I would walk by with my dogs they would yell out things about my appearance. I couldn’t figure it out at first. I wasn’t wearing anything revealing, or looking like I was inviting their comments. But then I realized—I had been experiencing this same thing since high school, showing up wearing pajama pants and STILL getting unwanted comments. I was angry I had to change my routine, because I really liked the path I took on my walk. But I felt helpless; I didn’t know what to do, so my answer like many women’s solutions was to try to ignore the problem because I didn’t have an outlet to change it. This is why I’m so glad I found Hollaback! I now have a supportive community that has my back and a way to safely combat street harassment.

Sometimes I hear people sometimes defending street harassment—that it’s not a bad thing, I mean who doesn’t like getting compliments? I guess there’s some truth to that, I mean I like getting compliments too! But you know what? Street harassment is different than just getting compliments. Street harassment is invasive, it’s personal, it’s unwanted and unwarranted, and most importantly it makes me feel uncomfortable and fearful.

I am of course a woman writing my story and can speak only from my experience. I’m fortunate enough to know many great feminist men in my personal and professional lives who have told me of their stories of being cat-called or honked at. So I do know that men experience street harassment as well, and it’s never okay—but what I also know, is that the street harassment of women in entirely different. Because of gender inequities, because of power dynamics, because men don’t walk the streets at night in fear that they will be raped by women, street harassment of women is different. Because I can go outside in the middle of the winter, bundled up from head to toe, just to walk my dogs, and still be hollered at, I know it has nothing to do with my appearance and everything to do with men believing they have the right to invade my personal space, my comfort, and my streets.

I hollaback so that no woman ever has to put her head down when she walks. That we no longer have to look ashamed, or walk faster to get away.  I hollaback so that we can finally talk about street harassment—how it’s not normal, how it’s not flattering, and how it makes us feel unsafe.  I strongly believe that the personal is political. That when we all find a place to come together and talk about our experiences with street harassment, we’ll realize we’re not alone. That this issue is greater than ourselves, and together we can make our streets and our space safe again.

So, welcome to Hollaback, Portland Maine! This is why I hollaback. Why do you?

Why I Hollback – Cara’s Story

When I was 14, I worked at our local library. I didn’t  know what street harassment was, but I knew what it felt like when I took the most indirect routes possible walking to and from work to avoid three houses where I knew there were men waiting for me to walk by.

“Walk a little slower next time – I want to look at your longer.”

When Cara is not Hollaback'ing, she rides chickens.

“What? You think you’re too good for this? You’re a cunt.”

“Look at that ass.”

When I first experienced the comments, I was confused because everything I had learned from TV, movies, and magazines had taught me that I should feel flattered about this; this is what I was supposed to want from men. But instead I felt scared, dirty, and upset with myself that I always thought of the perfect comeback when I was two blocks away (and arguably, less scared).

Since then, I experience street harassment regularly. When I’m walking my dog, when I’m getting coffee, when I’m walking into the gym, when I’m walking from the parking garage to the bar to go get drinks with my friends.  Street harassment is not only an irritating and difficult part of my day; it makes me feel unsafe. I’ve been followed from the sidewalk outside of my house all the way up the door to my apartment. When that happens, I know that it’s not that I just “feel” unsafe; I am unsafe.

I’ve formulated comebacks to have ready and I find myself often defensive when perhaps I don’t need to be. But the issue is that it happens so often, I often don’t know when I don’t need to be defensive.

I learned about the most perfect comeback when I was doing some research for work and came across Hollaback! Hollaback  became something I could use to channel the stress, anger, and general “why do I have to deal with this bullshit?!” feeling I get when someone harasses me. It’s not only a space where I can post about what happens to me (and yes, although we are wearing parkas here in Maine, it happens during the winter, too!), but the Hollaback! community also provides support for my wanting to do something about the harassment I experience. I can have a response; there are people who have my back because I want to have a response.

And having a response with a community behind me is perhaps the best comeback of all.

So, welcome to Hollaback, Portland Maine! This is why I hollaback. Why do you?